My Boss is on Facebook, Now What?
How To Befriend The Boss On Facebook
This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for a while, and as soon as I saw this video, I was inspired.
To set a little context, it was just about a year ago when we gathered as usual for our weekly staff meeting. As we took our seats my boss came in and proclaimed, “I joined Facebook over the weekend, and I think the rest of you should do the same – oh, and please friend me.”
A hush fell over the room – and then the room divided. Slowly a look of terror fell upon the faces of our younger staff members. They were trying to figure out the quickest route back to their desks so they could “untag” the questionable pics from last weekend’s birthday bash. And, the rest of us were dumbfounded: “Facebook? isn’t that just for college students?”
Since that time, I’ve had a good laugh with my boss about this – but the fact is, that line that used to separate our public lives from our private lives has become little blurrier with the growing use of social media – especially in the workplace.
But there’s no denying it, social media is now a permanent part of the workplace – and with that comes new lessons in social media etiquette. In fact, I wasn’t at all surprised to find an entire book out there by Mari Smith appropriately entitled, “Facebook for Professionals.” While I haven’t read the book, her blog covers questions from accepting requests from people you don’t know, to proper Facebook email etiquette.
So, how much is too much, and where do you draw the line between painting an authentic picture of yourself that’s believable to your friends and acceptable to your boss? Earlier this summer I was speaking to a room full of nonprofit leaders and the conversation made its way to social media and the way it is changing the culture of traditional institutions and nonprofits.
One woman began to explain how her organization was using Facebook to organize their volunteers, but she said there were certain things coming up on people’s profiles that she didn’t feel comfortable knowing about. So, she made the decision to not “friend” any of her subordinates or the younger volunteers in her organization.
Now, I don’t fall into the camp that says you should create two separate profiles – one for your professional persona and one for your friends. But I do think it’s important for employers and employees to know the boundaries – and personally, I think the two can coexist. After all, if institutions are to grow and change and keep up with the times, social networking is a huge part of this transformation. As you can see in the video above, privacy settings are making it easier to be a little more strategic and selective with what’s posted publicly, but it’s still important to be discreet.
For those of you with a presence on Facebook or another social networking site, what are your experiences with this balancing act? Is there value to meshing your private and professional lives online? Any lessons learned the hard way?
Comments
Thank you for a great post! I think this blurring shift between our personal and professional lives will evolve into a new paradigm over time. Having worked overseas in a work culture that did not make this kind of distinction, I’ve experienced how this “blending of worlds” can work. It definitely requires a major adjustment at first, but once you get used to it, it’s actually a nice way to go about life. I think the attempt to do the “balancing act” is rather American in thinking.
My CEO is part of my Facebook network. I think part of becoming comfortable with “friending” your bosses is more about trust and respect in your work relationships than about discomfort with the technology itself. I’m not at all worried that my boss is constantly checking up on me in Facebook because I know she respects me, and I respect her – which is why I am not checking her Facebook page, either.
I also am thoughtful about how I present myself on Facebook – even if my network were only to include friends. I treat my online presences as if it were my only opportunity to create a first – and lasting – impression. (Besides, you never know if one of your friends might someday be your boss!) I’m quite capable of making a regular fool of myself in person – no need to perpetuate that online.
The eternal conundrum (at least mine)… how to maintain a professional reputation with colleagues without stifiling your right to self-expression and open communication with your friends.
I think it’s important for bosses to realize that their employees do have a life outside the office and that seeing a Facebook photo of you with an adult beverage at your friend’s birthday party on a Saturday night is not a reflection of your performance as an employee, and you shouldn’t be judged as such. Also, if I knew my bosses were looking at my page frequently or scouring my profile to the extent that they were able to dig up inappropriate content, I would find it not only creepy, but might question the intent with which they were doing it. I agree with the previous poster on the issue of trust and respect and I think the boundaries of your professional relationship should extend to your profile as well.
BUT, I also think that if there is something you would be mortified for your colleagues to see, it’s probably not something you should have of yourself on the internet to begin with. Just because you delete an inappropriate post or untag a debaucherous photo doesn’t mean it goes away— it is still published internet content and can live in a cache to be recalled at any time. Limited profile, while useful (I could kiss the person who thought of that) is not fool-proof and your profile is an extention of your reputation, so you should treat it as such.
P.S. On the note of actual “lessons learned” I just want to note that if you use your Facebook for networking, you should have a reason to friend people and include a note of introduction. It is incredibly annoying to get friend requests from people who you don’t actually know who don’t have the courtesy to introduce themselves before attempting to add themselves to your friend list. I mean, would you ask someone for their phone number without shaking hands and telling them your name?
Also, make sure you have a professional reason to network with people. I was surprised to find one day that someone I know in a professional capacity had trolled my entire friend list in an attempt to “network”. What I’m sure she didn’t realize is that my name gets attached to that as a “mutual friend” so everyone from my ex-boyfriends to my sorority sisters were messaging me to ask why someone I knew was spamming them.
I know that there are younger people who are probably disconcerted that older adults, including bosses, are going on Facebook. But, in my work as a member of the clergy and a community servant leader, I find the diversity absolutely wonderful. I have found some new friends via some of the causes and groups I support and I need to get to know them better. I am also glad that I have people older than me (I am 50) including a former parishioner in her 70’s or 80’s! It is allowing me to stay in touch with my niece and nephew, who are among the youngest members I am friends with (a high school freshman and senior.) I get disconcerted with some of the pics I see but I use what I hope is professional judgment in what I post and I how I talk to others. I think that Facebook could help build some important bridges amongst the generations in our nation and world… something that we desperately need to do these days.
Hey Kari,
Thanks heaps for the props. You raise an excellent point here. Though Facebook is expanding rapidly members are still evolving re proper user experience and best practices.
I think it’s important to display what I call “strategic transparency” (though it may depend on what industry you’re in). In other words, be deliberate about what you choose to share anywhere online. The lines are blurry between personal and professional… but we * must maintain a private life that does not go online.
Cheers,
Mari
@marismith
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