One of the most common pieces of advice given to young people is "get a mentor," but for some that's easier said than done. There are a few people in my life that I would consider mentors, and almost all of them have been people I just kind of lucked into relationships with but whose input and support has been invaluable. Keenly aware that I'm not an expert on the subject, I chatted with nonprofit management consultant Adin Miller, who showed his passion for the importance of mentoring when I was compiling tips for young change-makers and idealists. This post is a summary of our conclusions.


Shop for a mentor

Mentor relationships can help us supplement some of the life experiences or knowledge that we lack. So when trying to recognize a mentor in your life, it can be helpful to ask yourself what experiences are you missing or what experiences can someone else help guide you through. When you're new in the working world, there are times when that seems like the answer is "everything," but if you think about it, your most pressing work challenges will probably come to you. Having a good mentoring relationship is not like having a magic eight ball or as Adin put it "they aren't answer givers." Instead good mentors should help you frame an issue, look at your options and then step back and let you make the decision.



Some of the most natural mentors can be people you work with because they understand your sector and your organization and probably have some sense of your goals, strengths and weaknesses already. Since this has the potential of creating a little awkwardness, Adin suggests that seeking out someone you no longer work for or people within your organization that you don't report to directly can give you the best of both worlds. People that you connect with over shared interests online can develop into valuable mentors as well. For example, I've never met Adin in person, but he's already taught me a lot about mentoring through our conversation about this post, which started when he replied to my tweet asking for advice for young idealists. Especially among the nonprofit social media community, I've found people are shockingly willing to engage in discussion, debate and, well, mentoring, with people they have only met online.



The surprise mentor

Sometimes mentors come from unexpected relationships. Because so many mentors develop organically, it's worth your while to make an effort to get to know the people in your professional network. As you get to know them, you might be surprised by the life experiences they've had that are applicable to your life. Even if you weren't looking for a mentor's advice in a particular situation, you could find advice you didn't know you needed from people you interact with every week. 


Recognize the moment

Since many successful mentoring relationships emerge organically from existing professional and personal relationships - whether they be in the office, online or from a distance - you have to be ready to see and latch onto would-be mentors when they present themselves. By the same turn, when you see that a colleague or acquaintance has questions on a subject that's familiar to you, encourage them to consider you a mentor on the subject, come back to you with more questions or have coffee just to discuss their interest in it.



It goes both ways

As many things as Boomers and Gen Xers have to share with younger members of the workforce, Millennials have something to give in return. And no, I'm not just talking about being good with Facebook and Twitter. Especially with all of the interest in our generation lately, we can be of value in helping other generations understand how to engage our peers. We can offer unique perspectives on contemporary communication - not just the technical "how to’s" but the thinking behind it. We may have the best grasp on the privacy controversy, or understand what it means to be a student today, and we've seen what works and what doesn't work with our peers. 



Think about the skills and experiences each of us has with a certain sport, hobby, culture, or language --ones that are completely independent of our generation, but that nonetheless might be helpful to someone older and more experienced but who lacks those specific experiences. Allison Jones and Allison Fine have both written blog posts recently that discuss reverse mentoring and what is necessary to move it beyond a cute idea to a strategy that works for organizations.



Keep your mentor relationship from dying

We're all busy. And it seems that we are just going to keep getting busier, so mentoring can easily fall apart if we don't actively encourage it along. Whether you're a mentor or a mentee, the answer is simple. Follow up, follow up, follow up. Thank you notes are nice, but substantive follow up is better. If your last meeting focused on a dilemma or a decision you had to make, make sure you let your mentor know what the outcome was. If you have additional questions after the meeting, reach back out with those. Schedule another chat in advance, just to check in. 



Adin stressed that exchanges with mentors should not feel purely transactional. You aren't just getting information from them and moving on. It's a relationship, and even if the person is a professional connection, you should form an emotional bond. And he added, in the absence of follow up, it will make it difficult for your mentor to know how to respond when you want to talk through your next challenge with them because they've been out of the loop for a while.



What do you think makes a good mentor relationship? Have you found any mentors through social media? Read more »