Creating a Meaningful Relationship... With Your Mentor

This month marks the 10th anniversary of National Mentoring Month (NMM). Created by the Harvard School of Public Health and MENTOR, NMM draws much needed attention to the need for mentors, and celebrates how we can work together to help young people from all walks of life find their own success. We at Social Citizens have noted time and time again the importance of having a mentor(s) and cultivating that relationship for both personal and professional successes.
We turned to iMentor, a special group that facilitates mentoring relationships using a unique combination of email exchanges and in-person meetings, for tips on how to create a meaningful and lasting mentoring relationship. This year, iMentor is serving 1,800 high school students in New York City and bringing its online program nationwide through partnerships with schools and nonprofits in over 20 states.
This special two-part blog post (visit CaseFoundation.org next week) pays tribute to both mentors and mentees in honor of NMM and explores the evolving nature of mentoring relationships.
What are some of the greatest challenges for young people, who may want a mentor, but do not know how to find one or may not even know that an outlet such as mentoring exists?
All young people—regardless of their race, class, gender, ethnicity or location—need people to guide them through making informed decisions. The two of us believe that adults have a responsibility to make mentoring a visible part of our lives. Successful adults often feel that they need to appear self-sufficient, even when this isn’t the case.
Neither one of us has ever met anyone who had achieved success without the help of a support network. Adults need to spread the message that no one should face life’s challenges alone. As this message becomes clearer, mentoring will become more a more visible thread in the fabric of American culture.
At iMentor, we primarily serve first-generation college students and recent immigrants with limited financial resources. This population faces many difficult academic, financial, social and emotional challenges. Without relationships to college-educated adults, they face a disproportionate risk of not finishing high school and never entering college.
The lifestyle of a young adult now is markedly different from that of older mentors when they were at the same age… for example there are different academic pressures, technology opportunities and social networks to contend with these days. Do you think that mentoring relationships can still be successful despite these “differences” in experience?
Technology is developing at lightning speed, and we have even observed differences between mentees in their teens and mentors in their mid-twenties. Regardless, we have found that inter-generational mentoring can be very successful. The key is for mentors and mentees to embrace their differences and recognize their respective strengths. Differences often provide great learning opportunities.
When inter-generational conflicts arise, we encourage our mentors to find out what their mentees are experts in (such as sports or social media). We then coach our mentors to let their mentees teach them about what they know. This makes mentees feel great, and actually helps them bond with their mentors.
Age is just one of the many differences that can exist in mentoring relationships. The key to negotiating difference is refusing to be intimidated by it. Instead of ignoring difference, recognize it and commit to viewing it as a learning opportunity. Mentoring can be a great way to gain exposure to new cultures, experiences and viewpoints. This process takes work, but it’s worth it.
How can prospective mentors and mentees get involved and connect with one another? What should someone interested in mentoring do if there is no established mentoring program in their community?
Students: If you can’t find a mentoring program in your community, look for a mentor among the adults in your life.
- Create a list of the adults you know who care about you and make it your goal to build closer relationships with them.
- Be creative! Your teachers, coaches and pastors are all potential mentors.
- The key is to find someone you admire and trust.
Grown-ups: If there isn’t a mentoring program in your area, you can still be a mentor. Do you know a young person who could use your support? If so, reach out and begin building a relationship. If you don’t know where to start, contact a school, church or community group in your area to find out how to volunteer.
Why not get your friends involved and start your own mentoring program? Today is a perfect opportunity to make a difference!
If you live in NYC or in a city where an iMentor Interactive partner operates, sign up to become a mentor today. If iMentor isn’t in your area, MENTOR is a great organization that provides information about mentoring opportunities nationwide.
Special thanks to iMentor’s Brooke Bryant, Development Manager; Ellen Mahoney, Director of Volunteers; and Unique Fraser, Director of Curricula for contributing to this piece.
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Social Citizen Sighting: Rocco Falconer

This interview is part of our "Social Citizen Sightings" series, in which we highlight how people are using their creativity, idealism, and digital fluency to support their causes every day. In 2008, Rocco Falconer planted a seed in Sierra Leone and from it grew the organization Planting Promise. The nonprofit provides an opportunity for local people from Sierra Leone to provide for their families and communities by linking education with profit-making enterprises. At the age of 22, Falconer is not only the founder and CEO of this organization, but he is making a difference in the lives of thousands.
1) What drove you to start Planting Promise?
Falconer: Travelling to some of the poorest parts of the world made me aware of two things. Firstly, how awful, and also unfair poverty is. The second was the inadequacy of the responses by people trying to help. NGOs, with the best intentions, didn’t seem wholly relevant to the problems they faced. They weren’t making the real and lasting change Africa really needs.
This dissatisfaction stayed with me when I travelled to Sierra Leone in June 2008. I didn’t go with a plan to start a project; I just wanted to see what Sierra Leone was like. When I arrived I was struck by the poverty: the highest infant mortality in the world, desperate inadequacy of the education services; huge unemployment. But on the other hand I saw the enormous opportunity amongst the poverty: a huge number of people willing and desperate to work, arable farmland going to waste in a nation that can’t feed itself, and the most delicious tropical fruit that ends up rotting in the streets.
I met with a local philanthropist, Eddie Boston-Mammah. We thought that charity, or the provision of free services, was not enough to make a lasting change. It creates dependence and doesn’t make people free. But at the same time, there was a desperate shortage in the provision of free education. So we came up with the idea of running a school on the profits from businesses: making progress dependent on the success of the business would also be an incentive for profitable growth.
2) The model Planting Promise operates on is an innovative one – what did the participating farmers think when you and Eddie first approached them with this opportunity. What obstacles or reservations did your team have to overcome during those early days?
Falconer: For the farmers, our arrival was a bolt from the blue: we turned up one day in a battered old car. Some of these villages were so remote they had never seen a white man before, so the first response was always surprise!
There was practically nothing in these villages. Farming is subsistence. In a bad year they go hungry. And now, most of the young people in the villages are leaving to seek their fortune in the city, leaving the villages understaffed and depressed, and leaving a time bomb for the country.
So we said: farm for us. We’ll provide the tools, wages, seeds and bags. We’ll organize getting the equipment in, and the crops out. We’ll give you 22% of the profits. The rest, we’ll use to fund our schools. And we’ll try to bring education and genuine economic opportunity into the villages in return.
Almost universally, the people we asked were delighted. We were offering income, and uses for their land that would otherwise go to waste. We offered prospects for the future and made commitments to helping their children.
3) Can you highlight some of the progress that Planting Promise has made since it first started?
Falconer: It has been a tough journey; we’ve lacked equipment, skills, funds, expertise. We’ve bootstrapped our way through, and because farming is quite a slow game, when you make a mistake you pay for it over months and months.
But our business is bringing prosperity to the villages. More importantly it’s bringing aspiration and education. We started in June 2008 with nothing. It was me and Eddie, and we hopped into taxis and drove around Freetown discussing the best way to make a lasting change.
- We’ve gone from one school to four schools: from 160 children being educated every day by Planting Promise, to 550.
- We’ve got an adult education center that teaches illiterate women literacy, numeracy and vocational skills.
- We’re building a secondary school so that our primary school children have a place to go after they finish.
- We’ve started three major businesses to fund the running costs of our schools.
- From one small farm, we’ve gone to six large farms. We farm the two major staples, rice and cassava, and we’ve just laid down our newest farm of peppers, chillies, okra, aubergine and cucumbers.
- We’ve started a food processing factory outside the capital, Freetown, to add value to our crops, give us a permanent source of income all year round, and to allow us to produce more nutritional food sources for the Freetown market.
- We have an internet café and computer learning center in Freetown to generate profits.
4) What advice would you give to other young individuals who seek to create change either on a small or large scale, in their own neighborhoods or internationally?
Falconer: The most important piece of advice is that nothing beats optimism! You’ve got to keep your spirits up, because you will fail and you’ve got to learn to bounce back, even though it’s often difficult. Cliched, but true!
So what I would say to a young person is be prepared to explore, be prepared to go down lots of roads and accept that some of them will be cul-de-sacs! But as long as you keep your mind fixed on what might be possible, and approach problems with humility as well as enough strength in your own convictions that you can drive change; then, as I have learnt from those I help and those that help me: nothing is impossible!
5) What are your goals for 2011 and beyond? How can people support Planting Promise?
Falconer: 2011 should be a very big year for us. We’re on course to be fully financially sustainable by the end of it, meaning we would not rely on donations to fund any of the payments we make to our teachers.
The most important item on our agenda at the moment is to complete the building of our first ever Secondary School. There are only three free secondary schools in the whole of Sierra Leone, and ours would be the fourth.
To learn how you can support the efforts of Planting Promise visit its website or Facebook page.
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Social media resolutions

Since 2010 and the winter gift-giving holidays are both over, it's time to start thinking about the new year and a fresh list of resolutions. As I began thinking about what my list could be for 2011, I thought of some social media resolutions I and others could make for the new year. Whether you're a social media super user or a newbie, there's always something we can do better to contribute to our online community or get more out of our time online. Here are a few social media resolutions I've thought of - adopt a few or add your own.
1. Listen to other people.
Whenever someone wants to suggest that social media makes people more narcissistic, all they have to do is cite the stat that half of Twitter users never read anything anyone else has to say. If this is you, not only does this make you sound like a self-centered jerk, you're also missing out on the best part of social media. I can't imagine the value of Twitter if not to engage with and learn from others.
2. Don't talk about yourself so much.
Personal stories, especially when used to demonstrate a larger truth or when told in humility, can be great ways to share your thoughts. But, as Geoff Livingston discovered, people don't always like reading about you as much as you like writing about it. He took on an experiment in December where he resolved not to use the words me, myself or I for one month in an effort to refocus his blog, and he found that traffic doubled during that time.
3. If you can't say something nice...well, you know the rest.
I'm all for lively discussion and debate via social media. Many of the best blog posts are those that become forums in which people can hash out issues and hopefully move toward a consensus. In a time in which media outlets are so segmented that you can read your daily paper, listen to your preferred radio station and tune in to your favorite news programs without ever hearing an opinion you disagree with, social media can provide a much needed platform for public discourse. Unfortunately, it's all too easy to hide behind the anonymity of a computer and post things that are snarky and hateful. If we all resolved to refrain from posting things we wouldn't say to someone's face, that might go a long way.
4. Try something new on for size.
There are so many new platforms, there's always something new to try. Never tried Gowalla, Google Reader, Causes, Sparked or one of many other tools? Spend a little time trying one out and see what you're missing.
5. Think before you post.
Transparency is great, but every now and then, we take a ride on the oversharing train. As we've seen through a few painful rounds of Facebook privacy outrage, deleting what we have posted online is not always as easy as it should be. So think about what you say, upload and tag, and check your privacy settings so you know who has access to your information online.
6. Don't be the strong, silent type.
Instead of just reading, get involved in the conversation by leaving a comment on a blog post, responding to a tweet or making a recommendation on foursquare. You have valuable things to contribute, so don't be shy about joining in the discussion.
7. Use it for good.
Maybe you spend a lot of time online - you have more Facebook friends than you realized you had in real life and hoards of Twitter followers. There's nothing wrong with using social media to catch up with old friends and make new contacts, but this year, you can also try using your online networks for good. Ask your friends to give to a birthday cause or simply share an issue or organization you care about with your friends and followers.
8. Pass it on.
Have a parent, coworker or friend who is still behind the times? Take a few minutes to show them how to get started and share some of the tips you've learned along the way.
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Reflecting on 2010: Our ten most popular blog posts of the year

This article by Stephanie Hackman was originally posted on the Case Foundation website.
It's that time again, when we approach the close of the year and look back to reflect on all that's happened over the past year. On our blogs, we've written about a lot of topics in 2010 from new technologies to nonprofit jobs to entrepreneurship, and everything in between. As we look back at 2010, we wanted to share our top ten most popular posts from the Case Foundation and Social Citizens blogs, in case you missed them or want to re-visit some of your favorites. And here they are, in no particular order. Enjoy!
1. AGC Conversational Case Studies: Darius Goes West: Inspiring fans to share their story with pride and joy
As part of this year's AGC 2009 Assessment and Reflection report, Beth Kanter and Allison Fine wrote a series of "AGC Conversational Case Studies," highlighting many of the winners and sharing successful tactics and lessons learned. This post takes a look at the small nonprofit Darius Goes West and their recipe for success, which included strong relationship building and effective storytelling.
2. Nonprofit Jobs: Interview with Idealist.org's Ami Dar and Meg Busse
We interviewed the founder and executive director of Idealist.org, Ami Dar, who shared his thoughts on the outlook for nonprofit jobs in this economy, advice for those looking for jobs in the nonprofit sector, and other benefits the Idealist site offers.
3. The painful acknowledgment of coming up short
As in the business sector, initiatives in the nonprofit world don't always go as planned. But failures in the nonprofit sector are often swept under the rug. Our CEO, Jean Case, reflects on lessons learned when an investment fell short of its goals, and the inspiration to move forward.
4. A lost generation of entrepreneurs? I think I found them
On Social Citizens, Kristin Ivie responds to the assertion that the Millennial generation is lacking entrepreneurs. Kristin suggests that the start-ups of this latest generation are more focused on mission than money and points to numerous entrepreneurs who have created socially-conscious companies or are in the nonprofit sector.
5. 7 tips for young change-makers and idealists
This post on Social Citizens shares advice for those just entering the nonprofit world. The list of tips includes finding a mentor, connecting with others and setting goals to evaluate progress.
6. Nonprofits, here's what NOT to do on social media.
As more and more nonprofits are embracing social media, the question is asked: are there things nonprofits should not do on social media? Sokunthea collects responses from social media experts, nonprofit leaders and the Case Foundation staff.
7. Palestinian Venture Fund creates opportunity and optimism
Jean Case writes about the Middle East Venture Capital Fund, which will invest in entrepreneurial Internet, mobile and software companies in the West Bank. The fund highlights our belief that you can do well by doing good, in this case by making contributions towards creating a viable and stable Palestinian state while receiving a financial and social return on investment.
8. Is social media creating an empathy deficit?
A study released this summer suggests that Millennials are less empathetic than generations before them, in part due to increased use of social media. Kari Dunn Saratovsky makes this argument on Social Citizens and shares her belief that all relationships and connections require empathy--both online and off.
9. The White House embraces wisdom of the crowds. What do you think?
As part of the foundation's efforts to encourage citizen involvement in decisions affecting them, we teamed up with the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy and theDomestic Policy Council to discuss lessons and strategies from experiments in prizes, challenges and open grantmaking. In the post, Michael Smith raises tough questions to be discussed and points to the CaseSoup interviews with speakers from the event.
10. What will it take to spark innovation and entrepreneurship in the nation? Share your ideas with Steve Case and NACIE! [Video]
As co-chair of the Obama Administration’s newly formed National Advisory Council on Innovation and Entrepreneurship (NACIE), our chairman Steve Case shares his thoughts after the council's first meeting in a video post. He also encourages you to send in your thoughts and ideas on what it will take to spark innovation and entrepreneurship in the nation.
Have a favorite Case Foundation or Social Citizens post we didn't mention? Let us know what you enjoyed reading on our blog in 2010 in the comments below.
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